An old man stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The old drunk, wanting to be friendly, walks into the water bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around, overcome by the smell of booze, grabs the drunk, and asks him, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'' Yes, I certainly am' replies the drunk, so the preacher lifts him up and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the old drunk, 'Brother did you find Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, I surely didn't.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time... He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, I mostly have not found Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about a minute. Well, the old drunk man begins kicking and flailing his arms and legs, and the preacher pulls him up. Then the preacher asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God man, did you find Jesus this time?' The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says slurringly to the preacher, 'You sure this is where he fell in?

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception, and the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!' Oncologists fear it's malignant, while Osteopaths see it as holistic. The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.